2019 Carrier Penitence letter

In 1/21 of 2016, after three months of breaking up with my ex-girlfriend, I took the first step that I regretted: looking for sex. I met a girl from the dating software and went to her rented house that night and had a sexual relationship with her. Since then I have embarked on this road of no return. The mood at the beginning was both fear and expectation, while fearing to get a sexually transmitted disease, while enjoying the feeling of excitement, involuntarily would like to make more friends to find prey. Until a certain time in December of that year, I didn't use the condom all the time. Afterwards, I was worried about getting HIV. After three months of pain, I decided to do the screening and finally put down the big stone in my heart. Since then, I have not learned the lesson, because the google article found that the risk of getting HIV with dangerous sex in heterosexual HIV patients is very low, so it made me more daring, and then I did not even use the condom. However, it was too intense once, and the foreskin was swollen the next day, and itchy and white debris later. Because I had a condom on the day, I didn't doubt that it would be a sexually transmitted disease. I saw that the doctor only said that it was balanitis. It would be better to rub a rubbing medicine, but it will occasionally be repeated, only to know that this is also a kind of sexually transmitted diseases.

 In June 2017, I met my current girlfriend. I told myself that I should stop this ridiculous behavior for a year and a half, but this idea lasted only less than a year. In May 2018, I broke the ring again. I went to the familiar dating software, doing familiar things, and having sex with female netizens. At first, I had a strong sense of guilt and felt sorry for my girlfriend. But as time and number of people increased, I was paralyzed. The devil’s voice told myself that it was like young madness. Until the end of January 2019, I had a dangerous sexual behavior with a female netizen. After a few weeks, I suddenly found that there was a slight abnormality in urination. I didn’t take it seriously at first, thinking that drinking more water would be fine, maybe the symptoms are really not too Obviously, and it seems that I have had a similar feeling before. Until a day of boring check the Internet, I was shocked, seriously suspected non-leaching urethritis. At this moment, I was thinking about how to finish my girlfriend. After a few days, I saw a doctor. He only did a simple urine test. He said that my urine had a bacterial reaction. The doctor gave me the medicine directly, and Did not do a more detailed inspection. A few days after I finished taking the medicine, I felt a sudden itching of the urethra, and I felt that it was not quite right. I think I am still sick. It is better to find a professional test. A few weeks later, I went to the Minsheng Medical Laboratory to find a kao Medical Technologist and did a detailed inspection. I hope I can give myself and my girlfriend a clean body.

  I always think about this time, should I be lucky? Fortunately, I have the opportunity to jump off this circle. During the period of having a girlfriend, every time I finish doing something sorry for her, I will tell myself that this is the last time, but I forget this feeling after a few days. Since I was in discomfort, I didn't dare to play it anymore. I deleted my friend's software account and deleted all the contact information. I am afraid now that I think of crazy behavior. Maybe without this lesson, I will continue to play next time, and I will not know which day I will terminate... But this time I am really determined to quit the sex transaction. Thank you, God gave me a chance to stabilize and make up for what I did. I owe too much to my girlfriend. She doesn't know that I have betrayed her and got sexually transmitted diseases. I hope that I can treat her in the future and make up for my past. Restart. I also hope that after this test, I can treat my body well and go on with my girlfriend. I don’t have to worry about the threat of sexually transmitted diseases in the future. I will never go back. I have officially left the sex trading circle and moved towards At another stage of life, to meet a beautiful future, never look back.